10.7.08

Dear Friend,

Did I ever tell you my step-dad was arrested? I was home one day with Larry and Hannah just sitting on the couch watching some random movie when mom and Bruce started to fight. I can’t remember what about exactly- probably something to do with the kids. Those little brats were always doing something to start a fight: Katrina stole money and then lied about it, Mathew refuses to do his homework, Jacob is mouthing off again. All Bruce ever says is, “Maybe, Kathy, it’s because you don’t love them enough. If you hugged them more they wouldn’t act out like this”. Oh really Bruce? The reason they are being giant pains in the @$$ is because they aren’t loved enough? Maybe it’s because their father doesn’t discipline them. Maybe it’s because you let them do whatever the F*** they want and then yell at my mom when she tries to control them. She had the same rules for D and I; look how we turned out.

Anyway, they went upstairs to fight because they thought that I wouldn’t hear them-WRONG. This was no unusual event for them. They fought almost every day. I guess that’s what you get when you get married after knowing each other only four months. Larry knew I was upset because I was shaking and my eyes had started to water. He just hugged me, but I don’t like being touched when I’m mad. Suddenly the yelling had stopped and then…thud. I lost it! I ran up the stairs and burst into mom and Bruce’s room. There was Bruce standing over my mom. She was curled up on the floor, crying, and holding her face. “Get the F**** away from my mom!” and his attention was turned to me. His piercing green eyes were lit up with rage as he came at me. His right hand went to my neck and I was pinned to the wall. “Shut up you little b****! This is none of your business!” I pushed him away and ran out the door and down the street.

Mom didn’t call the cops. “He’s a good man, he was just upset”, she said. Yeah, he’s such a good Christian, husband. He even has a sticker on his car that says, “I Love My Wife”. I love my mom. She is my best friend and I would do anything to protect her. I’ve been doing it most of my life, but I’m tired of being the adult. I want to be the one who is taken care of.

When I left for college I was afraid of what would happen. There was no one there to make sure that mom was ok. D has always been afraid of Bruce so I couldn’t count on him to do anything. Two weeks into school I got a call. “Bruce is in jail. He did it again and threatened D.” Finally he got what he deserved! She won’t press charges, but at least he will be on probation for three years. Anything else happens and it’s prison for the born again Christian. I love and respect my mom in so many ways, but how can you just stand by while your husband hurts you and your kids? How can you love someone who hits you? Why didn’t she leave him or call the police sooner? All I know is that I will never be like her when it comes to relationships.

Tom called this weekend. I haven’t heard from him since our barbeque this summer. It was such an amazing time. Grant’s parents were gone for two weeks so we had the place to ourselves. We wanted to throw an end of the summer party before everyone left for school. Tom and I drove to the grocery store and bought a ton of steak and vegetables for shish kabobs. Grant and his sister bought rum, limes and mint for the mojitos we were attempting to make. They ended up being mostly sour, minty rum until someone told us that we needed to add sugar. They were much better after that. We spent hours preparing for the party. We were all cooking and cutting up food, laughing because we were tipsy from the alcohol.

Becca and Sam were the first ones to arrive. Sam brought his hookah so he could show everyone how to blow smoke rings. You have to inhale and hold your mouth in an O shape. With your tongue in the middle of your mouth you puff out little amounts of smoke. It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it. Landon and Tyler showed up around the same time. Tyler was high as usual, and proceeded to inspect a walnut that had been left on the counter. Kaitlyn and Sarah brought a cheesecake they made from scratch. Let me tell you, cheesecake and mojitos are excellent together!

So there we were- ten friends on the back patio with shish kabobs, mojitos, cheesecake, a hookah and a walnut. In that moment I felt infinite. Just a couple of friends visiting one last time together before everything changed. Maybe its because we were all drunk, or maybe it’s because we were buzzed from the hookah, but in that moment I could just relax and be free. No one to protect, no one to worry about, just me and my friends. Nothing mattered but how full we were and how goofy Tyler was being. He paused for a moment and looked up. “I feel like I know everything there is to know about this walnut”, and I knew exactly what he meant.

They are all gone now. Tyler, Sam, Becca, Landon, Grant, Kaitlyn and Sarah. It’s just Tom and me. I think we’ll have a barbeque soon. I guess I’ll have to make new friends.


XOXO,
Avery

P.S- Sorry for the cursing!